Sexuality Matters: Seven tips for pregnant women to stay sexy

 

A sexy mother can seem oxymoronic or impossible for many women. Yet, pregnancy can come with increased desire, more intense orgasms, and creative sex-play. Few women feel comfortable talking with healthcare providers about sexuality and pregnancy, and for good reason.

Many healthcare providers are not trained to ask pregnant women how their sexuality has been affected and some hold beliefs that pregnant women are not sexual beings. I think it is important for women to reclaim our sensuality from those that say pregnancy and sexuality don’t or shouldn’t mix.

Here are some tips to ensure you stay sexy during your pregnancy:

1. Grow Your Sexy Self

Get some awesome clothes and lingerie, exploit the positives (especially the sexual ones), use massages, baths, yoga, light exercise, sleep, music, calming sounds, healthy eating and good shoes to your advantage. Look up pictures of other pregnant and sexy women—they are out there and you can be too! Act silly and sexy with your new curves and shape!

2. Put Good Food In You

You only need 300 more calories per day. When you eat too much, your baby gets too big and this can lead to trauma for the fetus and the mother. Stick with wholesome healthy foods that will keep blood sugar stable, energy levels up, and size down.

3. Flame It

Aside from STI risks, having sex while pregnant does not cause harm to the fetus. It is physically impossible for a penis or semen to come in to contact with the fetus. There are some times your doctor will recommend abstinence, though I’d recommended that you get a second opinion and be sure to ask why, how long, and what exactly is excluded. It is important to stay connected to social supports and continue to do what you did to get out and enjoy before you were pregnant. Keep going on dates with your partner and keep touching each other!

4. Pat Yourself On The Back

Patience and communication about sexuality are essential. Share your feelings with your partner. Discuss your prevention and preparation measures. Make time for each other. Set good patterns now.

5. Be Open-Minded

There is no right way. Set aside time daily to stay sexual. Cuddle, touch, hug and massage each other.

6. Indulge

Pamper yourself by treating yourself like a goddess. This will help with your sense of self and self-worth. You don’t need to spend a fortune, look for bargains and splurge on the occasional pedicure.

7. You Are Unique

Don’t compare yourself to other pregnant women. Focus on your unique and beautiful self. There is a wide variety of “normal” experiences. If you can, find a healthcare provider in your area that is comfortable discussing your sexuality as a pregnant woman. Therapy can help you and your partner learn new information on how to re-claim your body, recharge your sex life, and stay close to your partner, especially while juggling your new baby.

Extra tip: Along with your “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” purchase, grab a copy of “Your Orgasmic Pregnancy” by Danielle Cavallucci and Yvonne Fulbright—you won’t regret it.

Rosara Torrisi, LMSW is a licensed social worker trained at Columbia University. She is a doctoral student enrolled at Widener University’s Center for Sexuality Studies and is an LGBT inclusive therapist based in Plainview, NY. Visit her website at www.CouplesTherapyLongIsland.com. The “Sexuality Matters” column runs the second Wednesday of every month.

comments powered by Disqus